I love “the re-visit of God”! It always comes unexpectedly for me…… We met. We talked. And I came away feeling refreshed, amazed, comforted, consoled. But then I head back into life. Life — that place where words like sadness, disappointment, fear, and angst abide. It can be a challenge. Ahhhh…… but then there’s “the re-visit of God”! I’m actually not sure I’ve ever heard that phrase before. Perhaps I just now coined it. Goodness knows I’ve experienced it, but I think today is the first time it has become defined in my mind and put to paper. I hesitate to even use it because it sounds weird to me. “Re-visit”? ….. that sounds like He came and He went and then He came again. And yet I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5) But what I mean when I use the word “re-visit” is that He told me something…. and I forgot….. and so He came and told me again. “The Re-visit of God”.
It happened today….
This morning I was in my read-thru and found myself in John….John 20, to be exact, and suddenly I’m transported into the mind of Mary Magdalene, as I contemplated with her what it must’ve been like to have watched Jesus be crucified. This Jesus who had literally saved her life…..He had become life for her. And now He was dead. And she had gone to find Him. But He wasn’t there. The tomb was empty.
I pondered this….. wondering about her grief, her loss, her fear.
And then I got up from my reading, got dressed, and got on with my day.
This afternoon I happened to be brought back into Mary’s world. I hadn’t sought it out. It just happened. Or as I now like to say, I experienced “the re-visit of God” as I came across something I had written in March of 2013. Five years ago. How does this even happen. And truthfully, as I read it, I barely remembered it. But God knew I needed to “re-visit” this sweet time we had 5 years ago, He and I. I needed to re-visit it today. He started me off this morning contemplating it, and then He brought me full circle this afternoon with my March 2013 Reflections of the crucifixion:
Ya gotta love Mary.
John 20:11-13 But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing Him to be the gardener, she said to Him, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him and I will take Him away.”
In reading these verses, I’m imagining little Mary. I’m imagining what must have gone through Jesus’ mind when this woman says to Him, “tell me where you have laid Him and I will take Him away.” This fragile, grief-stricken little Mary thinks, with every fiber of her being, that all she needs is to find Him…. find His body…. and she honestly thinks she can haul Him away? I read that this morning, imagining what must have gone through Jesus’ mind as He heard these precious, sweet words of love. And in His response, I think we get a glimpse of exactly how tenderly Jesus’ heart was touched by such love.
V.16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.” Can you just imagine the tenderness with which He spoke her name. Can you imagine the love with which He acknowledged her love to Him. It was such that she immediately knew Him.
I pray today, “Lord, show me where You are. Reveal Yourself to me and I’ll haul You away……. I’ll haul you into my world that needs to hear Truth. Lord, I want You to hear my seeking plea and my willing spirit to take You. And I want You to speak my name with the same tenderness and love as You called Mary’s. Thank You, Lord, for sitting with me this morning and comforting my heart. I truly feel like Mary did in v.18…. “I have seen the Lord and He has said these things to me.”