I’m becoming an empowered senior!
Update from the Jonesborough Senior Center Silver Sneakers Circuit Class….. I’m still going. That, in itself, is pretty big.
So this morning we did a little “boxing”?? The upper-cut, or was it an undercut. Nope…. just now looked it up. Undercut is what you do to your competitors, trying to come just slightly below THEIR price! (Well, that’s certainly a pesky little trait, quite unattractive.) But then me doing the upper-cut wasn’t exactly a thing of beauty either. My instructor (or is she my teacher? or maybe she’s my trainer…. that has a pretty hip ring to it! And speaking of hips…. mine do NOT swing like they should, but that’s another story.) Anyway, our “person” Barbara was leading our class of 23. Barbara was new to me….. filling in for our regular person named Robin. Robin is a dancer. You can tell. Her movements are fluid and beautiful. On her. Not so much on me. Barbara, on the other hand, reminds me of a gym teacher I had in high school. I was afraid of Mrs. Beard. The woman never did a thing to me, mind ya. All she did was represent the President’s Council on Physical Fitness….. she must’ve been a huge John F. Kennedy fan because it seemed to me that her mission in life was that I be able to do a pull-up. Or so it seemed, at the time. I graduated never having accomplished Mrs. Beard’s objective. I doubt that this bothered her as much as it did me. Maybe if I had the time, I could delve into the recesses of my mind to analyze if Mrs. Beard and that horrid navy blue jumpsuit-type shorts outfit she made us buy (AND WEAR) was the beginning of my exercise aversion. But I digress.
Back to Barbara and the Monday morning Silver Sneaker Circuit Class of the Jonesborough Senior Center…… this morning we were boxing. As we were doing the “upper cut” we had our legs apart and our knees bent. And I was just sorta mindlessly punching up. I don’t know that Barbara was looking specifically at me…. there WERE 23 of us in the class, so there might’ve been others doing it wrong. But the comment went forth, “Use those legs! If you ever want to punch anybody out, you won’t be able to do it unless you THROW that weight upward as you punch. Work that core!” Gym teachers scare me. I can just see me now….. I’m coming outta the grocery store late at night (around 7:30’ish perhaps) and suddenly, from outta the shadows appears an ill-doer wishing to relieve me of my bounty. My head is spinning! I can do this! I can take this ill-doer on, but first I must get in position. Legs slightly apart. Knees slightly bent, but not extended beyond the toes (we must protect our knees). Arms brought up into their boxing position…… now BEND DOWN and PUNCH UP!!! Hmmmm….. as I mentally play this out in my mind, I’m thinking I might need to ask the ill-doer to hold my purse whilst I get into position. But then again….. that’s exactly what said ill-doer WANTS, I suspect. Perhaps I would do better to throw caution to the wind and use those exercised legs of mine to run like the dickens! Well, I’m now trained, so either way, I’m sure Mrs. Beard would be quite proud of me for coming back into the exercise fold.
We also worked on our peripheral vision today by stepping quickly UP… to the left… back… to the right… UP… to the left… back… to the right, etc., as we encircled our chairs. At one point, perhaps it was in my dizziness as I encircled said chair so rapidly, but my foot got tangled up under my chair, and unfortunately under the chair is that bowl (that I had spoken of from my first exercise experience at the Jonesborough Senior Center…. that bowl that I had thought would have made a great little popcorn bowl, however they had us use it to house our balls) Anyway…. I hit said bowl and my ball went flying! Ya know, ya try to fly under the radar and keep a low profile in these situations. I mean, I always keep myself to the back row! But somehow these gym-teacher sorts must have eyes in the back of their heads. As I ran to retrieve my ball, I hear our instructor in the distance…. “Sounds like somebody KICKED THE BUCKET back there!” Mrs. Beard would’ve just shook her head and said….. “some things never change.” I wonder if Mrs. Beard ever read 1 Timothy 4:8 “for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” I haven’t been to seminary or anything, but I think that’s telling me there’s not gonna be any one-piece gym shorts in heaven!
Jonesborough Senior Center
“Your Place to be Active, Fit and Connected“
Hours – 8 am – 6 pm Mon, Wed & Fri
Tues. & Thurs 8 am – 8 pm
Front Desk – 423.753.4781
PS….. Disclaimer to Barbara, and Robin, and Mrs. Beard and anybody else that raises the bar on being active and fit that I might have offended!! I’d tip my Silver Sneakers to you (if I had a pair)! You help us all be better than we are and I appreciate you! (If any of these would ever happen to read this, I’d hate to have insulted them and maybe get some kind of exercise penalty! What if I never get awarded a pair of “Silver Sneakers” and I have to just keep wearing my grubby green ones? Gym shame ….. will it never leave me?!!)
6 thoughts on “I’m becoming an empowered senior! (Update from the Jonesborough Senior Center)”
You are very witty and clever as you explain to us desk sitters the wonders of exercise!! I only wish I could have been there to snap a few pics to go along with your story. Keep up the good work! You are going to find yourself on TV before you know it. This class has opened up a whole new world for you and all of followers.
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I can’t wait till YOU can come WITH me! That what I need is a buddy! We can be the Vernon girls in motion!!
I think the jumpsuit is kind of cute! You could totally rock that thing.
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My waist was NEVER that little….. I wish! I couldn’t get one leg in that thing!
Well here it goes… I like you Kathy try to stay hidden in the back of the class but this one particular class was packed and I had to be in the middle of the class. The class was a circuit training where you set up like 6 stations of things and you hurriedly switched every minute. With that visual of me trying to first get all the right equipment set up, secondly, no one ever uses my name and “hurry” in the same sentence let alone in a exercise scenario, and third being in the center of the room it was a recipe for disaster!! So I’m doing pretty good until the instructor says to sit on the huge exercise ball to do your crunches.. that’s when disaster struck. I, in my hurried state sat on the ball but FORGOT to take it out of the step riser holding it in place. Soooo when I attempted to sit on the ball it along WITH the step riser shoot out behind me to the people right behind me and my big butt ended up on the floor… so I hop up really quick and laugh with the people behind me who thankful weren’t injured with my ball/step fiasco!! I was totally embarrassed, but alas I have another #exercisefail story even worse that I’ll save for another day!!
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Katy, I do believe me and you could exercise together! I might have met my match in exercise faux pas, only you are the more advanced upscale version. If I tried to do a crunch on that big ball, you’d probably be bringing me cookies to the skilled nursing facility where I would be in indefinite rehab!! I want to hear your other story!!! It helps me feel better about myself!